Ward (a.k.a. – Girn/Blurtus/Gristle), 2/02/1967-2/05/2013
During the server downtime which began on Thursday and ran until Saturday, there was much gnashing of teeth and kvetching by LOTRO players about not being able to partake in their favourite MMO because they wanted to grind dailies, raid, craft, or whatever. I was nervously watching the server update tweets for another reason: The Osgiliath Guard was scheduled to hold a memorial wake for a kin officer who had departed for the lands beyond.
Our friend, who was known as Girn in our voice chat (Ward in real life, Blurtus on our forums, with toons named Gristle, Taz, Clemdor and others), passed away three days after his forty-sixth birthday following a fight with cancer that goes back several years. He had been doing fairly well of late, but checked into the hospital around the first of February for emergency treatment and died shortly thereafter.
The rest of us only found out about his passing after another kinmate, his best friend in real life, told some of the officers about Girn’s hospitalization and death.
I would be lying if I said I knew him well, but he was beloved in our kinship by many, and had recently been promoted to officer and kin social director. At the time of his death, he and a couple of the other officers and members were planning a series of events for our kinmates and friends.
Girn was not a player who was in to raiding, but he would group up with anyone who needed a sixth to fill out a full fellowship instance, asked for help with a slayer deed or even someone who just needed company. He was a regular in our Mumble voice chat, and I knew him as kind, generous and jovial; even on the days when you could tell he was in tremendous pain from the chemotherapy or other cancer treatments, he tried to not let you hear it in his voice. His condition had been steadily improving recently, and those who were closer to him than I said he expected to be out of the hospital and back on his feet very quickly. Sadly, that was not to be.
So on Saturday evening (server time), we held a memorial for Girn in the Bree-land homesteads where our kinship has its house. In addition to the kin present, some of his other friends were there, including a couple of folks Girn knew from the Landroval server. Of the many things in LOTRO Girn enjoyed, music and games were near the top of the list, so a kinmate who counted Girn as his “number one groupie” performed with his 12-boxing hobbit band and the rest of us shared stories of his life, fireworks and trivia contests to celebrate the short time we had with him.
Several other kinmates spoke kind words and played some songs he liked, including his favourite, “Let it Be” by the Beatles.
As I gathered with my friends and kinmates, I wondered what is it about a silly online game that connects us so closely, even with people we may never meet in person?
Even though I don’t know many of their real names, I can honestly tell you I know more about the lives of some of my kinmates than people whose cubicles are right around the corner from mine at work. The members of The Osgiliath Guard are spread throughout the world; we’re mostly in the US–Girn lived in Montana–but we have many Aussies and Kiwis, a bunch of Canadians and a handful of players from Europe.
From the tributes at our memorial, I can tell you that many of our kin felt as close to Girn as the friends with whom they share a beer after work, or swap pictures of their children, or harass about a bad haircut, and the tears which were shed were as genuine as those for any other “real” friend.
Of the handful of MMOs I’ve played, the LOTRO community is the most caring, thoughtful and mature. Sure there are the trolls in GLFF, but every family has a couple of crazy uncles, too. When something like this happens, it does not surprise me when people step forward to lend a hand to those who need it, or take some time out of the day to pay tribute to a friend who is no longer with us, and because of that, I am proud to be a part of this community.
In life, Girn was humble, gentle and easy-going. The division captain told me Girn was truly honoured to be selected to be one of our kinship’s officers, and I think he would be slightly embarrassed and profoundly moved that his friends would hold a wake in his memory.
Truly, though, how could we not?
Girn’s “main” was a captain, and another of our officers told a story of how much he enjoyed the music in LOTRO, once he was taught to play instruments, he could often be found standing around playing songs just because he could. He also did not believe that death was the “end”, but rather a beginning, perhaps of some grand new quest. Girn did not have children or a surviving spouse; his legacy is the memories and friendships he left behind.
So, Girn, from all of your kinmates and friends: When we arrive upon the shores of Valinor, we expect to be greeted with a wide smile, a warm embrace and wondrous tales of all of the adventures you had without us.
Namarie mellonim, tenna’ento lye omenta.
(Farewell, my friend, until next we meet.)
Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship’s beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.
Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.
Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I’ll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!
–Bilbo’s Last Song
February 18, 2013 at 8:46 am
/salute
February 18, 2013 at 9:07 am
RIP Grim
February 18, 2013 at 9:18 am
We will miss you!
February 18, 2013 at 9:21 am
Safe travels Girn…
February 18, 2013 at 10:38 am
Wow – he passed away the same day as my father. But at a much younger age – my dad was in his eighties.
My heart goes out to his friends and kin, but especially to his RL family.
Regards,
Holtho
February 18, 2013 at 10:38 am
/salute
A wonderful tribute to your departed friend. May the pain of loss pass, and sweetness of memories last forever.
February 18, 2013 at 10:53 am
It’s a sad day seeing more and more people of my age passing away in lands beyond…
Let him stay with us in good memories.
February 18, 2013 at 11:07 am
May the light shine on his path
February 18, 2013 at 11:43 am
Blessed repose and eternal memory.
February 18, 2013 at 12:37 pm
So sorry for your loss as he sounded like someone I would have loved to befriend. My prayers are with his family and friends.
February 18, 2013 at 1:23 pm
A beautiful eulogy Vraeden. Farewell Girn, those of us remaining on the hither shores will cherish your memory.
February 18, 2013 at 2:10 pm
Nai Girn hiruva estë Mandostessë.
I’m sorry that you’ve lost your friend. This is a lovely enshrining post you made. Thank-you for sharing it with us.
On a side note, a Montanan? I’m a Montanan! Pity, I would have liked to have met.
Márienna!
February 18, 2013 at 5:00 pm
/Sword-salute!
I would have liked to have grouped with him!
February 18, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Dear Vræden,
I did not know Girn but he sounds like someone we should have known. I too know of this bond on LOTRo and it may seem silly but a triumph in a game is enough to make you feel connected to others because they shared in it by losing morale, spamming pots, or even challenging the boss when the tank dies as a sacrifice.
Hail,
Damsadan
R.I.P. Girn
February 18, 2013 at 6:22 pm
I lost my mother to cancer and several friends, Girn sounds like an incredible person and an inspiration! I won’t say I’m sorry because that’s not enough. I will say EiledonTruvoice will wear his black garments in memory of a great soul! He is fighting the good fight in a higher place!
îdh ned sîdh Girn!
February 18, 2013 at 6:41 pm
Losto vae, Girn. Savo ‘lass a lalaith.
Never met you but from one Lotro Community member to another…
/salute
February 18, 2013 at 8:19 pm
God speed,
February 19, 2013 at 3:51 am
/salute dear friend till we meet again
February 19, 2013 at 3:36 pm
I know he is now on the White Shore. Bless his memory.
/bow
February 19, 2013 at 4:59 pm
so sad and touching. My thoughts are with his family and friends.
Time spent with a soul is well, time spent. Whether its online, by mail, email, blogs, or forums or in real life, sharing daily experiences and goals is what makes the bond.
Seems like he was well loved, wished I had met him
February 20, 2013 at 1:18 am
I didn’t know him, but he sounds like he was a very kind person, and his picture gave me a really good feeling. Rest in peace Girn
February 21, 2013 at 1:26 am
He truly sounds like he was a great person. Salute from FF. May your path be golden and days long
February 21, 2013 at 10:59 am
Its amazing how a computer game can link so many people together. I myself have tons of good friends that i talk to on regular bases and daily and enjoy it.
I did not know Girn but he must have been a very kind, good and a nice person to hang out with while playing lotro and in real life.
I wish him all the best in Valinor and i will speak to all my 12+ gods to watch over his family and friends.
/salute from Meneldor!
February 21, 2013 at 12:40 pm
/salute
February 21, 2013 at 4:14 pm
You called him Girn, I called him Gris for his toon Gristle. Gristle and Melbara played together almost every day since last summer. We were low 70s then. We made 85 as was his goal not too long ago. With his cancer treatments, he could not keep up with a lot of players and since I am 74 years old, I cannot either. We played at the same rate and loved it. His Cappy and my Hunter. We looked forward to each day’s quests or deeds or whatever we chose that day. He was very nice to all the members of my kin, Ring Guard of Rivendell, also. We attended every concert we could together and danced. I called him friend and my Knight in Shining Armour and he called me his Damsel in Distress. He was soooooo thrilled when TOG asked him to be the Officer in charge of social activities. I miss him!!!!
February 21, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Girn will be missed by many. He touched a lot of lives in our kin as well, through his thoughtfulness and generosity. He was a credit the The Osgiliath Guard.
February 21, 2013 at 6:57 pm
I met Gris(Girn) through Melbara and I have to agree with what has been said about him, he was a great guy. the type of guy that you could spend all day just shooting the breeze with and always seemed to be in a good mood that could brighten anyones day despite his health problems. I once read a passage out of a book that says, “we should not cry for his passing, but for us that are lessened by his absence from our lives”
February 23, 2013 at 10:40 am
What a beautiful poem, so fitting, to end with. I feel the same way about my kinnies and all the time we spend online talking to one another. May he find the golden shores.
February 26, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Having held my wife in my arms as she was taken from me by that vile curse that is cancer just ten days ago, I sympathise all too well with the sense of loss and emptiness that this splendid sounding fellows friends and family are feeling.
Words and music have a power to comfort and ease the shedding of tears rather than the damming up of emotion. Tears must be shed for they, altho’ being a sign of the pain we bear also help to soothe it; so not all of them are an evil.
Whether it be true or not, take solace in such words of philosophy or religion that come to you and bend with the tide of grief, for if we do not then we shall eventually break. It is better to honour those that we lose with seemly grief and not to fall into despair, for it is in our hearts, our memories and our future actions that they live on.
“And all will turn to silver glass”
March 2, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Lovely post and tribute to your kinnie.
March 17, 2013 at 12:22 am
Very sorry to hear.
Gone too soon.