This is an April Fools joke. We’re not giving away any TP. Points or otherwise.
TP. It’s something we all want and all use and it’s something we certainly don’t want to be found without. That’s why we pooled our resources today to bring you a great bonus to your TP stockpile!
How to Enter
Simply leave a comment on this post sharing your favorite joke. Doesn’t even have to be LOTRO related if you wish.
This giveaway is ONLY valid for today so don’t miss your chance at some free TP!
Prizes
We have four packs of really high quality TP to give away to our lucky fans! They even are doubled as a bonus to give you twice as much TP! See the picture below for confirmation of our prizes already in our possession and ready to give away!
![IMG_0627[1]](http://casualstrolltomordor.com/files/2012/03/IMG_06271.jpg "IMG_0627[1]")
Contest Details
Your entry must be received by April 1, 2012 by 5:00pm Eastern (-4 GMT).
Yeah here’s the thing. I’m really not going to be mailing any one toilet paper. But don’t let that stop you from attempting to enter to win! Just warning you though. You won’t win. This is just plain silly and you know it.
April 1, 2012 at 11:16 am
Its a shame its only a spoof prize. It;d be perfect for those times when you wipe on an instance.
OK, Joke. I went into the bank the other day and asked them to check my balance – and they pushed me over.
April 1, 2012 at 11:16 am
You had me there until I saw the picture and the date.
April 1, 2012 at 11:20 am
The other day, I went to the optometrist for my annual eye exam and found out that my prescription has worsened and that I need new glasses. I told my father this and he reminded me that my grandmother (God rest her soul) only started using glasses in the later years of her life (she died a couple of years ago just three weeks shy of turning 98). In fact, I think she was probably in her early 70s before I ever saw her with glasses.
That’s right: Grandma drank straight from the bottle.
April 1, 2012 at 11:21 am
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
April 1, 2012 at 11:23 am
Okay I don’t have a joke but that’s just funny as hell
TP… I always think of THIS TP when I see that in game :p
April 1, 2012 at 11:28 am
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.
April 1, 2012 at 11:30 am
A Time Lord, a Sycorax and a Slitheen walk into a bar and . . . .
Raxacoricofallapatorius. Keep trying to pronounce that while I come up with a joke :3
April 1, 2012 at 11:48 am
Very funny TP joke, indeed
Here’s one from me 
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?
Because he was out-standing in his field.
April 1, 2012 at 11:52 am
How many hobbits does it take to do a hard day’s work?!
No one knows, they’ve never tried!
Seriously, toilet paper is always useful.
April 1, 2012 at 12:11 pm
You can make a man a fire and keep him warm for the night.
Or, you can set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.
April 1, 2012 at 12:13 pm
My favorite joke was last nights raid. A friend’s runestone decided to walk out into the middle of the room and aggro a full trash pull in ToO lightning wing for us. It was honestly the first time I’ve wiped a raid because a stone thought it was a huntard.
April 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
April 1, 2012 at 12:31 pm
A guy walks into an ice cream shop and asks for some chocolate ice cream.
“O I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any chocolate”
“I’ll have some chocolate ice cream”
“Sir, we’re out of that flavor, please choose another”
“I’ll have chocolate”
“Alright sir, how do you spell the van in vanilla?”
“V-A-N”
“How do you spell the straw in strawberry?”
“S-T-R-A-W”
“How do you spell the F**k in chocolate?”
“There’s no f**kin’ chocolate!”
“You got it!”
April 1, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Cruel cruel joke.
It’s THREE PLY toilet paper!!!!!
April 1, 2012 at 12:56 pm
“Yes, hello I need a career guru please.”
“I’m sorry we don’t employ any religious hokum at this corporation.”
“I need help with getting a promotion in my department and make myself look better than everyone else.”
“We have no one employed here that could help you with that.”
“So we don’t have career guru’s?”
“Well, we have “guru’s” for everything else, but they are called Psychiatrists.”
“And to get a promotion, hold nightly meetings with Captain Morgan, and watch Big Bang Theory and study under Dr. Sheldon.”
April 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I am a geek not a nerd. Geeks have girlfriends.
April 1, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Well… I always need more TP… I’m always sick xD
So… joke… How many psychologists do you need to change a ligh bulb? It dependes if they ligh bulb wants to change
April 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Two hunters are out in the forest hunting when one of them suddenly collapses. The other one panics and pm’s a befriended minstrel. Help help hè says à fellow Günter is dead i think… The minstrel asks: van you make sure he’s dead? There follows a loud ploink as if someone released an arrow. A fee seconds later the hunter answers ok what now ?
I need TP!!!
April 1, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I was working on a Sindarin translation and could find no word for ‘inspiration’ — nor could I find any word combo to translate for approximation. I decided the best thing to do would be to derive a word in similar fashion that human existing languages got THEIR word ‘inspiration’. Tracing it back in English, Welsh, Finnish, Japanese, and a few others I don’t remember, almost all words ‘inspiration’ come from roots meaning ‘spirit’ and ‘fire’. Naturally I picked up the translations for those words in Sindarin and Quenya, pushed them together suitably, and here we are!
The newest word in everyone’s Elvish lexicon, Inspiration: fëanor
I trust you will all find this as useful as I have since creating it.
Ónen fëanor anden, de gelir, thand?
April 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Without any doubts:
“Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!”
April 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm
A Joke:
How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel?
It takes two stormtroopers to change a glowpanel. One stormtrooper to change it, and the other one to shoot him and take credit for all the work.
Thanks Jacen, Kevin J. Anderson 4 best selling.
April 1, 2012 at 1:42 pm
-My dog has no nose.
-How does it smell?
-Awful
April 1, 2012 at 2:02 pm
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
April 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Noooo I was going to post the stick joke… now I have to remember something else.
April 2, 2012 at 11:07 am
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
April 1, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Why do mermaids wear sea-shells?
Because D shells are just a little too big and B shells are too small.
Enjoy
April 1, 2012 at 2:17 pm
An aeroplane crushes in a jungle and a priest who survived the crush, starts walking around. Suddently he sees a hungry lion coming towards him. He kneels and starts praying: “Oh Lold, please give this lion christian ethics!”
The lion kneels in front of him at once and starts praying too: “Bless, O Lord, this food for thy use…”
April 1, 2012 at 2:18 pm
A blonde was mad of all the bad names, and went and dyed her hair brown.
As she was driving along, she saw a sheep farm.
“Ahh they are so cute, i want one!”
So she stopped at the farm and asked the farmer if she can have one.
“Yeah, i’ll give you one if you can guess how many sheep are in my farm”
“412″
“Allright, go ahead and pick one”
So the Blond goes out and picks one, and while returning, the farmer says,
“If i guess your real haircolor can i have my dog back?”
—-
End of story!
Happy April Fool’s day!
April 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm
That’s my favorite brand of TP!!! Way better than that Charmin crap.
April 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm
“We bought a toilet brush.
The paper was better.”
April 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Needham, MA – Turbine, Inc. officially announced plans today to completely eliminate all existing bugs from all game properties it produces, including the popular Lord of the Rings Online.
In a press release and statement appearing on the company website, upper management revealed that finally, subscriber concerns would be taken seriously and instead of making promises for increased content releases and raising expectations and hopes, game developers were instructed to go back over existing content and eliminate and streamline the experience in order to make sure that this fall’s promised Riders of Rohan expansion would be free of long load times, client crashes, exploits and broken gameplay experiences.
“We want to avoid things in the future like the infamous Pit of Iron and Draigoch bugs while simultaneously fixing long standing things like increased load times, crashes and the like,” said community leader Sapience in a forum post accompanying the press release. “Players have been asking and we’re listening. As a thank you to those fine patrons who have been bringing these issues to our attention, we’re removing all items with statistics from the store permanently, upping Turbine Point accrual, rethinking our stance on PvP statistics, fixing Wardens, revamping the Instance Finder, and even adding more pie options for Cooks.”
…sigh. How’s that for a joke? April Fools?
April 1, 2012 at 2:58 pm
What does your boss and a slinky have in common?
They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs
April 1, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
April 1, 2012 at 3:51 pm
it’s funnier if you reverse the logic. more ironic that gorillas have big fingers because they have big nostrils.
April 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm
I could seriously use the toilet paper. Please.
So two guys walk into a bar. The first one gets knocked out. The second ducks.
I love not so simple jokes.
April 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Knock Knock.
*who’s there*
Toilet Paper.
*toilet paper who?*
Yes please.
April 1, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
God.
God who?
Godzilla!!!!
April 1, 2012 at 6:02 pm
KNOCK KNOCK, WHO’S THERE, MARTHA, MARTHA WHO, MARTHA, THE MARTHA MERRIER.
April 1, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
San Diego!
April 1, 2012 at 10:39 pm
a guy walks into a bar and asked the bartender for a good drink and the bartender gave him the drink and said try this, the guy asked what’s the name of it and the bartender said a grasshopper, so the guy leaves the bar and he walks by and sees a grasshopper so the guy says to the grasshopper you know theres a drink named after you?? so the grasshopper answers what earl??
April 2, 2012 at 8:30 am
Racist people of Lord of the Rings:
- Elrond “Half”-Elven
- Gandalf the “White”
- Radagast the “Brown”
- Galadriel Lady of “Light”
- Morgoroth The “Black” King
(All tittles refer to a race or color)
Non-Racist Person:
- Saruman of Many Colors (not what you’d expect eh?)
April 2, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Benjamir, the leader of Sons of Numenor, sent out a kin-wide message that we would be starting a WoW division.
That’s pretty funny…
April 2, 2012 at 3:33 pm
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
The more you think about it, the funnier it gets. What did you say the last time you lost something?